Sometimes I just get so desperate to know how things will turn out that I have to literally talk myself into calmness and detachment.
Tonight, for instance, I went as far as going to a tarot-reading web site to get an idea of what I am facing and how I am doing. The reading is quite accurate -- I feel so strongly that I am up for great things but wonder why they are so elusive.
And then a gentle reminder to trust in higher forces, in the Universe, in God or any other name such is called. Do not overthink the how. Trust in the power of the Universe to surprise you. Amaze you. Sweep you off your feet. Reveal its plan to you.
It's past 4 am and I still cannot sleep after dozing off over a CSI episode about three hours ago and after seeing my daughter off to another work-related trip. My daughter Bea came home tonight after a few days in Bangkok, and had to fly out again to Bacolod first thing today. She must be boarding her plane right now, barring delays.
She has become so involved in the climate change movement that I am amazed how it all began -- a simple invitation to an environmental forum at some QC hotel to represent her school.
I remember that day, three years ago, vividly. I was hurrying her up because she was late already, and all she could worry about was picking the right outfit for the event. During the day, her articulateness earned for her an invitation to apply to a forum of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change in New York. She had limited time to secure a visa, so she attended the next event instead, the annual conference in Lima, Peru. There has been no turning back.
I wonder whether the Big Surprise of my life will creep into my routines most innocuously, too. The tarot reading is right: I feel so strongly that something earth-shaking, something long overdue, some game-changer, is lurking just right around the corner.
Come find me now, whatever you are.