Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Four

It's 4 in the morning and I have been awake for an hour and a half. For a while I thought I just needed to finish the HOC episode that I had begun last night upon coming home. Well, I had finished it. I am sleepy.
And I am still awake.
This hour, early risers are just beginning their day. The night owls are probably just about to turn in. Those like me who have a mountain of backlog looming over their heads are undecided whether to just gape at the view outside, to listen to their "College Music" playlist on Spotify, to actually get some work done, to write about that thing that has been nagging at them, or think long and think hard about the predicament they are in.
Sometimes we want something so bad we can't get our minds off it, even just for a second.  It drives us crazy, just imagining situations when we are closer to the dream. What if? What if not?  How will I ever get  through the next few days again? When will The Moment come and how might it feel like?
In front of me is the sight of city lights and I am so awed that I can just stare and stare until my eyes fall out and I stop making sense -- yet what's in front of me will remain.
It's only Tuesday tomorrow. Quite a number of work days to hurdle still, and I cannot afford to waste quality time sitting here in the dark typing like a madman gawking at the view and singing along to Vertical Horizon. I must end this mooning. I can't even write a decent sentence anyway. Jesus.



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