Now that my blog is active again, I feel encouraged to write.
It's Good Friday and many people are used to doing certain things congruous with their beliefs. I am no different. At 3pm today, I took out many, many sheets of paper containing chat exchanges, email conversations and journal entries from a certain window in my life, not too long ago, and tore them into little pieces.
They had been there, saved and then printed out, just in case I wanted to look at them and relive them.
Today however I resolved to do away with them completely, because it is time. In fact, it is overdue.
This was a person with whom I hoped to share many happy days. We tried very hard, despite our varying definitions of "try". Last month, I conceded it would never happen. All the red flags are there, and if I am half as smart as I claim to be, then it is time to die...
This particular symbolic death.
Tomorrow morning, Black Saturday, I will put these torn-up pieces of paper in a basin and let water make them unreadable, un-repairable.I will drain them and put them in a bag. When the garbage boys arrive I will hand the bag over to them.
And then on Easter Sunday, I shall rise again. Then, I will be ready to send a message to the Universe.