Friday, May 17, 2013

Misadventures

People may see me as a really serious professional and a no-nonsense mom.

I am those, sure, but I am other things, too.

My kids say I am funny and a "troll". I won't protest. It's true, too, at least sometimes.

We complain about our neighbor's kids crying a lot. In our house, we laugh a lot, insanely, even at unholy hours.

With the Big Kids -- waiting for pizza during my graduation dinner

It's Friday and in lieu of my not having a weekend (going out of town raket in the next two days), I will share some of my more recent misadventures as a way to create a break.

Sometime in January, I was looking for an extra writing gig and was exchanging text messages with a prospect.

Horrors, I mistakenly sent "Combo20".  My unlimited texting facility had just expired, i was trying to register anew and sent it to the wrong number.

Needless to say, I didn't get the gig -- it was an upscale publication anyway whose readers do not probably require unlimited texting.

Last month, I had an anonymous texter who told me, out of the blue, "ah, ganon pala?"

I truly felt it was somebody who was trying to strike a conversation (had my share of those before), for which I was not in the mood.  I immediately typed back: "oo, ganun talaga. Epal ka."

The same message was sent to me during the day. I ignored it, as I ignored frantic calls from the same number.

And then, another text. "I may have misrouted a text message to you. Sorry about that."

I gulped, because nobody who could speak that kind of English could be too desperate about a textmate. I forced myself to forget about it. I did not reply.

A few days later, I got an email from one of my columnists, a former newspaper publisher who was later appointed Philippine ambassador to a European country. He apologized again for a "misrouted" text message. He added: "I got a reply which I was not sure came from you."

I wanted the earth to swallow me.

And then yesterday, I got a phone call from somebody I was supposed to be working with for a part-time engagement.  She had been calling me but I was mobile and did not hear.  So I texted her to say "Sorry I missed your call."

Wouldn't you know it, I pressed "Send" after typing only "Sorry I missed you".

I know. It's crazy and I am reminded of Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie "I don't know how she does it" where she sends a message intended for her best friend to her boss, and vice versa.

The most hilarious, by far, is perhaps what happened last Friday night. I was with Sophie and Elmo catching a bus at SM North Edsa. The crowd was impossible, but i thought i saw a familiar face -- Bea's high school classmate, who used to hang out at our home. I grinned widely and waved despite being crushed by the crowd. "JS!" I called out.

To my ultimate shame, the young man stared at me, perplexed.

I turned to Sophie: "Hindi ba si JS yon?" She shook her head.

By then Sophie and Elmo were laughing like crazy.



With Small Kids -- Goofing around in front of the Web cam 

We did not get into that bus so we moved further out front. The guy was still behind us -- he didn't get his ride as well -- and I dared not look back because I was mortified.

We were still laughing. Imagine that, a sea of people stranded during rush hour, chasing very few, jampacked buses, and we were laughing.

When we were finally seated, Sophie told me that the boy would be posting a status message on Facebook: "Some crazy woman waved at me today."

I hope I do not see that young man ever again.

My kids too are not strangers to weird text messages and knock knock jokes from me. Some of the legends:

Me: Knock knock
Them: Who's there?
Me: Divisoria
Them: Divisoria who?
Me as Craig David: Divisoria...wooh. Divisoria...wooh (Insomnia)

Me: Knock knock
Them: Who's there?
Me: Schedule
Them: Schedule who?
Me as John Mayer: There I just said it, schedule forget about me (Scared you'll forget...Edge of Desire)

I once told Elmo I was a champion skateboarder, competing against representatives from other Asian countries. He believed me for many months.

People have told me I looked too young to be a mom of teenagers. I am really too young, but I feel young, too -- despite my troubles. We really must learn to laugh at ourselves.




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