Earlier tonight I updated my Facebook status: "must seriously get back to blogging. Enough excuses."
I just got home and I am exhausted, but I am staying true to my word.
So tonight I will renew my commitment to share with my readers not something great, not something earth-shaking, but a glimpse into the story I call my life.
Indeed in the past months, this blog has only served as an archive of my published work. I even went to the extent of creating another blog on Wordpress -- okay, two -- which would serve as my 1. online diary and 2. my alternate column, albeit online, on motherhood.
I thought that this blog had become too "professionalized", too associated with my public persona that it would be unnatural to reveal anything personal or intimate about myself. Hence the online diary.
And much as I enjoyed chronicling my life as a single mother, I felt that writing about my life with my kids, and my attempt to run an entire household on my own, in my newspaper column was not quite up to par with the personality I was seeking to establish as a serious journalist.
See, I could sometimes obsess about drawers and boxes.
But guess what? After setting up these sites, I soon became delinquent.
And after a few more weeks, specifically today, I came to my senses that I should embrace all these personal thoughts, these mommy musings, these domestic designs as a part of who I am. I cannot possibly hope to compartmentalize the me who works in a newsroom, who loves massages and buko juice and quiet meals with my friends, who loves a good laugh with my kids, and who dreams about furniture and extra closet space.
I am one package, and I should not be too shy or too busy to celebrate it!
So even as I struggle with my many concerns -- for instance, produce quality content 7 days a week, be a good nurturer, mentor and adviser to my kids, ensure all bills are paid and all tuition covered (remember, I have two kids in college, one in high school and one in grade school), set aside a little extra money for rainy days, enjoy simple pleasures like the occasional good meal in a restaurant, be able to pick anything we need AND want at the grocery, get an A for my current course, turn in a solid thesis and perhaps obtain my MA in journalism WITH honors when I graduate in March, do well in other projects I am engaged in, look young and presentable and happy, do something of consequence, fix my house, occasionally have lunch or dinner and coffee with my friends – I should not be too tired or too busy to write.