published Monday, 22 Nov 2010, MST
Saturday, November 20, Luneta grounds. Numerous street children from all over Metro Manila and neighboring provinces line up for the free lunch–chicken inasal and rice served on a banana leaf. Some, however, continue running around the vast, grassy ground despite the noonday sun. There is much laughter in the air.
On the stage are several singers, dressed in white t-shirts, rehearsing for a concert. Around the stage are dozens of booths, grouped into five “worlds” —civil and political rights; family and alternative care; education, culture and leisure; health, nutrition and welfare; and special protection. The booths offer diverse surprises. One gives identification cards to children not yet accounted for in the national registry. Another offers face painting treats. Yet another holds puppet shows.
Some booths advertise the services of non-government organizations. For example, the Dar Amanah Children’s Village in Silang, Cavite houses Muslim orphans affected by the conflict in Mindanao. Another group gives shelter to displaced Badjao communities, giving them a new home in Apalit, Pampanga—right at the heart of central Luzon.
This is the third Children’s Rights Festival, coinciding with the 21st anniversary of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. This year’s event is jointly staged by the United Nations Children’s Fund and CIFA, an Italian NGO working for the protection of children. Bahay Tuluyan—an NGO that delivers social services on the street and in the community and which operates in Manila, Laguna and Quezon —is the secretariat of the festival. More than 2,500 street children, 700 volunteers and 60 NGOs participate this year.
The festival also coincides with the launching of “Munting Tinig, Karapatan Nais Marinig”—a compilation of artwork and short essays from children referring to their rights.
***
But what are the rights of the child? According to the UN convention, they include “non-discrimination; adherence to the best interests of the child; the right to life, survival and development; and the right to participate. They represent the underlying requirements for any and all rights to be realized.
Survival and development rights refer to the resources, skills and contributions necessary for the survival and full development of the child. They include rights to adequate food, shelter, clean water, formal education, primary health care, leisure and recreation, cultural activities and information about their rights. These rights require not only the existence of the means to fulfill the rights but also access to them. Specific articles address the needs of child refugees, children with disabilities and children of minority or indigenous groups.
Protection rights include protection from all forms of child abuse, neglect, exploitation and cruelty, including the right to special protection in times of war and protection from abuse in the criminal justice system.
Participation rights mean that children are entitled to the freedom to express opinions and to have a say in matters affecting their social, economic, religious, cultural and political life. Participation rights include the right to express opinions and be heard, the right to information and freedom of association. Engaging these rights as they mature helps children bring about the realization of all their rights and prepares them for an active role in society.” (www.unicef.org/crc/index_30177.html)
Lily Flordelis, executive director of Bahay Tuluyan, says the festival intends to make children more aware of their rights on one hand, and remind the government that so much more needs to be done in the struggle to uphold children’s rights, on the other.
The first rights festival, held two years ago, was staged in reaction to a disturbing January 2008 report by Australian academics that said “rescue” operations conducted by authorities—the Metro Manila Development Authority, the Manila office of the Department of Social Welfare and Department, the Manila Police and some barangay officials—were “indiscriminate, involuntary, harmful and ineffective.”
Flordelis adds that authorities had a quota to “rescue” 50 children from the streets per trip. To meet this quota, they simply yanked off anybody they see, whether or not they needed to be, or wanted to be, rescued. According to the study, 70 percent of children reported physical and verbal abuse in the apprehension stage alone. They were chased, hurt and called names. Detention facilities were of poor quality
Flordelis says children’s rights are violated because they are seen as mere extensions of other unites like families, schools,or communities instead of individuals with their own sacred rights. A father, for instance, may beat up his son because of some proprietary claim on the child. Hence, he could do what he wants with “it.”
Flordelis also says that long-term and sustainable solutions are needed to solve the problem of street children. Livelihood (for the parents), education and housing will ultimately benefit more children in lasting ways more than any government dole will do.
***
I roam the grounds and strike a conversation with three teenagers, all former street children, from Bahay Tuluyan.
Fifteen-year-old Mary Ann Palomarez says she dreams of becoming a social worker like the ones who helped her and her sister. She is one of the volunteers for the festival and is happy that this year’s event is bigger and more organized than the previous years’.
Mary Ann Inamargi, a high school senior, says she enjoys the junior educators’, junior environmental educators’ and junior health workers’ training she receives from the shelter. Thiese are supposed to help her other children as well. She does not see either of her parents anymore but her newer family is bigger and happier.
The girls tease 16-year-old Jeffrey Jason Salinas of wanting to be a seaman, but he says he is not yet sure. For now, he is happy where he is, knowing he deserves to be treated well—and wishes other children from the streets would be as fortunate as he is.
Despite the overwhelming statistics, breaking the cycle is possible. Efforts do matter to individual children. These kids and many others are shedding their bitter past and looking forward to a better life—something to which everybody has a right, and definitely something worthy of a celebration.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
What I miss
Today I decided to take a break from commuting to the newsroom -- two hours and 20-plus kilometers each way. I had to rest my foot which for a week had been burdened by an infected wound, aggravated by prolonged (and inevitable) walking.
Good thing my internet connection cooperated. I was able to do my work in the comfort of my bedroom. I put my opinion pages to bed pretty early, too. If the drawing had come earlier, I would have been able to do so sooner.
Staying home on a weekday yielded some surprises, as well.
It meant settling in front of the computer without having to shed the tiredness from traveling and putting on some make-up.
It meant welcoming home the three younger kids (Beatrice, who is in college, is spending the week at her father's), asking them about their day. I learned that Josh the junior is excited about tomorrow's pajama party, that Sophie was named Best in Music for the quarter, and that Elmo had again made playdate plans with his best bud Miguel for tomorrow.
It meant overseeing Sophie's and Elmo's attempts to fix their bags for the following day. Horrors...I remembered that Elmo liked his pencils constantly sharp so that the set I had given him two weeks ago were now all less than two inches long. I helped him cut out an old picture for his Sibika homework and construct three sentences about it besides.
I witnessed how light turned into darkness outside my window.
I learned, too, that Sophie was shortlisted for the modeling search we joined last week. Initially it was good news -- until we found out what the real deal was: enrollment in a modelling school at "only" P4,000 where the normal tuition was P15,000.
I decided, no thanks. If my daughter was good enough to be chosen as a finalist, then she would have other opportunities where she does not have to pay anybody. I had to take a break from working to explain all these to her, because she had been so hyped about getting chosen.
I also discovered what the kids normally do by themselves in the early evening, while I am away at work. THEY GOOF! Somebody's playing music, another's catching up on Facebook, yet another is playing with robots. They BEGIN to do their homework as they juggle all these and banter with each other besides. Just as they get some real work done, they get called to dinner. Small wonder that when I arrive at 1030 thereabouts, they still have questions about what to do, or request that I wake them up earlier than usual to finish something or another.
Tsk-tsk-tsk.
Ah, dinner. I had not eaten properly in a long while (I eat in front of my computer at the office). I enjoyed the ginisang miswa at patola coupled with some fried fish to the hilt; the kids requested cheese dogs.
I went back to the bedroom to await the editorial cartoon and take a final look at the laid-out pages in PDF format. Since this phase was infinitely easier than the editing, I was able to relax better. The kids and I looked -- and laughed -- at more old pictures. There were pictures of them when they were yet babies. Pictures of me when I was still...err..lighter.
Sophie and Josh started memorizing excerpts from Edgar Allan Poe's "The Tell-tale Heart." They exaggerated, trying to speak in different ways. They tried the angry voice, the crazy voice, the chipmunk voice...the Visayan accent (I mean no offense to Visayans, I am biologically one, too, from both sides), the British accent, the matigas-na-English accent. Imagine how much of a riot it was.
They also started talking to each other, pretending I was not there. "Why hasn't Mom called yet?" "I guess at this time, she's on the train already." "Aww, I forgot to ask her to bring me some Jamaican patties!"
And oh, knock-knock jokes are far from dead in our family. Josh has just downloaded the Christmas album of Diana Krall. And so
I go: Knock knock.
Josh: Who's there?
Me: Bihon-canton
Josh: Bihon-canton who?
Me: (clearing throat) I'll bihon for Christmas...you canton on me...
Josh: Tsssss (rolls his eyes).
Crazy, these kids of mine. Okay, me too.
My Standard work out of the way, I perfected my syllabus for my Writing In The Disciplines students whom I will meet again tomorrow. Tomorrow, when I hope I can wear proper shoes and walk without limping. Looks like I can.
I enjoyed this day, and I also realized why it is necessary to physically detach myself from the kids for a few hours, even if it meant traversing the metropolis, six cities through, to get to my office space.
It makes me more eager to return home, each time.
Good thing my internet connection cooperated. I was able to do my work in the comfort of my bedroom. I put my opinion pages to bed pretty early, too. If the drawing had come earlier, I would have been able to do so sooner.
Staying home on a weekday yielded some surprises, as well.
It meant settling in front of the computer without having to shed the tiredness from traveling and putting on some make-up.
It meant welcoming home the three younger kids (Beatrice, who is in college, is spending the week at her father's), asking them about their day. I learned that Josh the junior is excited about tomorrow's pajama party, that Sophie was named Best in Music for the quarter, and that Elmo had again made playdate plans with his best bud Miguel for tomorrow.
It meant overseeing Sophie's and Elmo's attempts to fix their bags for the following day. Horrors...I remembered that Elmo liked his pencils constantly sharp so that the set I had given him two weeks ago were now all less than two inches long. I helped him cut out an old picture for his Sibika homework and construct three sentences about it besides.
I witnessed how light turned into darkness outside my window.
I learned, too, that Sophie was shortlisted for the modeling search we joined last week. Initially it was good news -- until we found out what the real deal was: enrollment in a modelling school at "only" P4,000 where the normal tuition was P15,000.
I decided, no thanks. If my daughter was good enough to be chosen as a finalist, then she would have other opportunities where she does not have to pay anybody. I had to take a break from working to explain all these to her, because she had been so hyped about getting chosen.
I also discovered what the kids normally do by themselves in the early evening, while I am away at work. THEY GOOF! Somebody's playing music, another's catching up on Facebook, yet another is playing with robots. They BEGIN to do their homework as they juggle all these and banter with each other besides. Just as they get some real work done, they get called to dinner. Small wonder that when I arrive at 1030 thereabouts, they still have questions about what to do, or request that I wake them up earlier than usual to finish something or another.
Tsk-tsk-tsk.
Ah, dinner. I had not eaten properly in a long while (I eat in front of my computer at the office). I enjoyed the ginisang miswa at patola coupled with some fried fish to the hilt; the kids requested cheese dogs.
I went back to the bedroom to await the editorial cartoon and take a final look at the laid-out pages in PDF format. Since this phase was infinitely easier than the editing, I was able to relax better. The kids and I looked -- and laughed -- at more old pictures. There were pictures of them when they were yet babies. Pictures of me when I was still...err..lighter.
Sophie and Josh started memorizing excerpts from Edgar Allan Poe's "The Tell-tale Heart." They exaggerated, trying to speak in different ways. They tried the angry voice, the crazy voice, the chipmunk voice...the Visayan accent (I mean no offense to Visayans, I am biologically one, too, from both sides), the British accent, the matigas-na-English accent. Imagine how much of a riot it was.
They also started talking to each other, pretending I was not there. "Why hasn't Mom called yet?" "I guess at this time, she's on the train already." "Aww, I forgot to ask her to bring me some Jamaican patties!"
And oh, knock-knock jokes are far from dead in our family. Josh has just downloaded the Christmas album of Diana Krall. And so
I go: Knock knock.
Josh: Who's there?
Me: Bihon-canton
Josh: Bihon-canton who?
Me: (clearing throat) I'll bihon for Christmas...you canton on me...
Josh: Tsssss (rolls his eyes).
Crazy, these kids of mine. Okay, me too.
My Standard work out of the way, I perfected my syllabus for my Writing In The Disciplines students whom I will meet again tomorrow. Tomorrow, when I hope I can wear proper shoes and walk without limping. Looks like I can.
I enjoyed this day, and I also realized why it is necessary to physically detach myself from the kids for a few hours, even if it meant traversing the metropolis, six cities through, to get to my office space.
It makes me more eager to return home, each time.
Monday, November 15, 2010
My new hat
My days will be a little different in the next five months or so. I have accepted a part-time teaching post at the Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Valenzuela, near where I live. I have two freshman classes (Writing in the Disciplines), one sophomore class (Creative Writing) and one junior class (English and American literature). I'll be in school three hours a day, four days a week, capping my sessions just at the hour I need to leave for the Standard's Makati office.
Instructors are given considerable leeway in drafting our course syllabi, something for which I am grateful.
Classes in the university started today. I met the two first-year sections I would be meeting every Monday and Friday for the rest of this semester.
The freshmen I have met appear...teachable. That is all right with me. I am patient but I have little tolerance for arrogance, especially intellectual arrogance. I would much rather stop talking to somebody who is so full of his or her own greatness. On the other hand, I have a soft spot for those who are humble enough to acknowledge they need help.
I look forward to getting down to the meat of the writing subjects. I've been a professional writer for years and I'd like to see how I can motivate others to do as well, and work as hard.
Then, too, staying at the newsdesk at work has taught me that those who get to do the leg work in journalism (and those who put up with the near-negligible pay) are generally graduates of non-premier schools. They could use a little boost -- in skills, in their approach, even in their work ethic.
As to the juniors' lit class...now that's a challenge. I was a literature major myself but even now I an overwhelmed with the sheer number of works I know I should have read but haven't. With probably millions of titles getting published every year, the task can only get more difficult. Still, we aim here for appreciation, understanding, depth and only secondarily breadth. All the things that literature is supposed to evoke in you.
Why am I here? I can give a few reasons. I want to share what I know especially to those with humble beginnings. I want to share, period. I want to get to know what young people think and feel. On the other hand, I want also to be productive, to expand my world, and yes, to increase my income, however minimally.
This will be a semester to remember. One more hat, one more reason to feel whole.
Instructors are given considerable leeway in drafting our course syllabi, something for which I am grateful.
Classes in the university started today. I met the two first-year sections I would be meeting every Monday and Friday for the rest of this semester.
The freshmen I have met appear...teachable. That is all right with me. I am patient but I have little tolerance for arrogance, especially intellectual arrogance. I would much rather stop talking to somebody who is so full of his or her own greatness. On the other hand, I have a soft spot for those who are humble enough to acknowledge they need help.
I look forward to getting down to the meat of the writing subjects. I've been a professional writer for years and I'd like to see how I can motivate others to do as well, and work as hard.
Then, too, staying at the newsdesk at work has taught me that those who get to do the leg work in journalism (and those who put up with the near-negligible pay) are generally graduates of non-premier schools. They could use a little boost -- in skills, in their approach, even in their work ethic.
As to the juniors' lit class...now that's a challenge. I was a literature major myself but even now I an overwhelmed with the sheer number of works I know I should have read but haven't. With probably millions of titles getting published every year, the task can only get more difficult. Still, we aim here for appreciation, understanding, depth and only secondarily breadth. All the things that literature is supposed to evoke in you.
Why am I here? I can give a few reasons. I want to share what I know especially to those with humble beginnings. I want to share, period. I want to get to know what young people think and feel. On the other hand, I want also to be productive, to expand my world, and yes, to increase my income, however minimally.
This will be a semester to remember. One more hat, one more reason to feel whole.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Staying home, staying away
MST column, 15 November 2010
What is so wrong about wanting to improve your life?
In her now-famous lecture to her University of the Philippines students, professor Solita Monsod lamented that graduates of practically entire batches of the UP College of Medicine leave the country to practice their expertise abroad.
Moreover, Monsod warned her students that as products of the premier state university, they should stay in the Philippines in order to be of service to the country. They should be part of the solution, she said, instead of being part of the problem. If they insist on leaving, they should in one way or another pay back Filipino taxpayers who subsidized their education. And pay back big time.
If they do not do this, she joked, she would haunt them, even from the dead.
The professor's words are specific. She does not refer to Filipinos who, unarmed with any professional expertise, choose to leave their families behind and work blue-collar jobs abroad. Instead, Monsod directs her admonition (and threat) to those with college degrees, presumably with a chosen field of specialization.
But the call is also broad. It can be taken to refer to graduates of other schools, even if their education was paid for by their own parents or by other scholarships, not necessarily from the state.
It's a tall order.
I, for instance, who choose to stay, do not relish my decision every minute of the day. Maybe, if I were under different circumstances – if I did not become a mom at a young age, or if I did not love my job – I would have left, too. Being in the print media has its many rewards, but "financial" is not one of them. Without the comfort of of a car, a spacious home and a fat paycheck, one becomes exposed to the everyday things that make life in Manila a truly challenging – sometimes harrowing – experience.
I admit that in particularly low moments, I flirt with the idea of leaving everything behind and starting over in a foreign country. The thought of a place where the level of financial comfort you can attain is commensurate to the amount of hard work you are willing to put in – and oh, am I willing! -- can seem so alluringly simple.
In the Philippines, things aren't quite as simple or straightforward. There is a host of other factors that determines one's success – narrowly defined by most people as the amount of money one makes. Connections play a big part in landing a fresh graduate a promising job with a stable organization. As one moves up the ladder, one will find that political correctness is another key success factor. Behaving in a way that is expected of you makes you more likely to be successful than if you had to fumble your way around or express your individuality.
It follows that once somebody becomes successful (under this narrow definition), he or she will not anymore see the need to go abroad and try to make it there. Why work several jobs and be nobody in a foreign land, when one already lives a comfortable life in the Philippines?
For the rest of us, though, staying here DESPITE the hardships can appear romantic and noble. Indeed, doing our bit for the country does offer a satisfaction that can't be expressed in pesos and centavos.
**
Staying here, however, does not entitle us to any moral superiority over those who chose to go away, and stay away. They – from wherever they obtained their college degrees -- have their reasons. Nobody is in a position to say these Filipinos love their country less.
For some, family togetherness is a driving force. These are the ones whose relatives (or whose spouses' relatives) have already established residence in other countries. And then there are those whose priority is to raise their children in the best environment possible.
There are those who believe that for them to be able to share themselves effectively with others, they should first work on being rock-solid, financially. Only after they have achieved a certain level of success – however it is defined – can they be in a position to pay back, and with gusto.
Tragically, for some, it's desperation.
I have a friend – yes, she's from UP, and an honor student, no less – who left the country three years ago after feeling that she had hit the proverbial glass ceiling in one of the top business process outsourcing companies here. My friend was not exactly struggling to make ends meet: she was driving her own car, and because she was still single at that time, she took over the family's expenses after her father's death and was even helping put her younger brother through medical school. Still, she felt there was no room for upward mobility anymore. She flew to Canada on a mere tourist visa, and the rest is history.
This year, she came back to Manila for a vacation with her Canadian husband. In three years, she has acquired immigrant status and is now working for the government, at a community library. She and her husband say their next project is a baby. I am sure that baby's first words won't be in Tagalog.
My friend was happy to see her family and friends again. But toward the last days of her
vacation, I sensed that she could not wait to go back to her life in Canada. It was her home now. Remember the “walang ganyan sa States” advertisement from a few years back? My friend said, that after again driving on the streets of Manila and seeing the chaos that once formed part of her day-to-day life, she had to bite her tongue to avoid uttering something akin to the phrase.
My friend has decided to live in Canada for good.
What I've heard, not only from her but from all the others who have had a taste of what it is like to live in another country, is that it is difficult to revert to the dirty, crazy, erratic, disorderly way things look and feel around here. And what is so wrong about wanting to improve your life?
**
Mrs. Monsod's lecture has received mixed reactions from Filipinos around the world. Some are defensive of their choice to stay away. Some blame the government for practically driving them out of the Philippines with the lack of rewarding jobs and the endemic corruption in the system. Some feel guilty, in varying degrees, even as they think they would like to return and pay back at some time in the future. Some simply don't care anymore. This country has let them down and that it's unworthy of making a few sacrifices for.
But being born in a country, is similar to being born to a set of parents. You did not choose them, and you would have elected to be born into other families, but you love them nonetheless, warts and all. And so you put up with them, believing they are the only ones you've got and hoping that both of you stay around long enough to see a few significant changes.
And what of romance and nobility? At some point, we are bound to get disillusioned. Some of us venture into the world as idealists but emerge as realists. This is not necessarily bad; in fact, it's a good thing. We should see the world for what it really is. What counts is that even as the romance fizzles out, there remains enough faith to stick it out, not in spite of the hardships, but because of hope.
We can't blame or impose our will on the others who have already decided, but we can make this place a little more attractive for the next batch of decision makers. Then staying here won't be too much of a sacrifice but a natural, logical choice.
adellechua@gmail.com
**
Reader's comments
The economic, social and political conditions in the Philippines continue to deteriorate since the Marcos regime. I listen to DZRH by streaming on the web and it amazes me to no end Filipino’s the attitude of the government (officials) regarding conditions around them. There is this radio host who takes in calls from his listeners about the problems that the government should solve but never done for so obvious reason: corruption. A young, idealistic man called in about his take on the horrendous traffic problem in Edsa and all points in Manila. He said the government official casually responded by saying that he got his letter but he’s busy with more pressing problems in the department. Is not the traffic situation pressing enough since it affects the lives of thousands of people 24/7? The problem of colurum vehicles is not being addressed, the authorities see them every day plying the roads, but the law is not being enforced. Why? I’m sure you know the answer. Politicians are the Lord of the people, not the servants of the people who put them in congress. Then there is this patronage system in the economy that talented graduates who have no connection in industry or government don’t get the break they need to obtain gainful employment. And the litany of corrupt practices in all segment of society continues to plague our nation that denies equal employment opportunity for majority of ordinary Filipinos. This desperate condition triggers the exodus of Filipinos to seek employment elsewhere even in dangerous places abroad seem a better idea. What have they got to lose when they’re broke at home?
The quality of public education in the Philippines has come to its lowest point that graduates have difficulty in reading, writing and arithmetic. The competence of teachers in all levels is questionable. There is no substitute for good writing and oral communication skills. Yes, our medium of instruction in the Philippines is English, and we pride ourselves of this, but we fall short when it comes to demonstration of this skill. Many Filipinos may have the skill sets for a specific job (accounting, nursing, medicine) but what employers are looking, aside from professional skill sets, are employees with good communication skills. Speaking the language is more difficult when actually writing it. Many Filipinos have been passed over for promotions for this very reason and they accuse the employer of “discrimination” not realizing the importance of good oral and written skills. But most Filipinos, when they arrive (i.e. in the U.S.) do not pursue education to improve themselves and their main concern is work and work so that they can send money to their families in the Philippines. Philippine society is not a reading society that majority of us don’t have the passion, or the habit of reading good books. Today, a basic BS degree is not enough anymore. A professional person have to pursue graduate studies to stabilize employment, get promotions, and those with specialized certifications have to continue taking continuing education points (80 points every 3 years) to maintain the certification. A BS degree today is dime a dozen in the workplace. There is stiff competition for promotions.
A major problem of Filipino expatriates in the US is loneliness. Most Filipinos cope with this condition by congregating among themselves to fill the void of homesickness. However, they miss the opportunity to see and experience the rich cultural experience of their host country by separating themselves from the mainstream society. Their perception of America is based on the garbage they see and hear on television and Hollywood which is not a true reflection of American attitudes and mores. Filipinos say to us, “You have become Americanize,” which is pejorative because they see Americans as immoral and loose. This is not true because there are many moral and upstanding Americans who stand for righteousness and justice. Who are we to judge them when we have nothing to boast about the accomplishment of Filipinos compared to what Americans have accomplished in medicine, science and engineering, space, economics, etc. since the founding of the Republic?
What I’m saying here is the exodus of Filipinos to all points in the glove will not stop unless the economic, political and social conditions in the Philippines change. I’m pessimistic, knowing Filipino mentality that is not going to happen no matter what our elite politicians promise the people they would do. The Filipinos should take personal responsibility to change their ways if they want to improve the social, economic and political landscape to stop the tide of Filipinos leaving motherland. However, with the kind of mindset and culture that we have, I see no hope of that happening. This is a challenge to all.
I’m sure I’m making enemies of a lot of people because of this scathing commentary but am I telling a lie or the truth is hard to swallow? Let’s be honest because the truth will set us all free.
V/r,
Nomer Obnamia
What is so wrong about wanting to improve your life?
In her now-famous lecture to her University of the Philippines students, professor Solita Monsod lamented that graduates of practically entire batches of the UP College of Medicine leave the country to practice their expertise abroad.
Moreover, Monsod warned her students that as products of the premier state university, they should stay in the Philippines in order to be of service to the country. They should be part of the solution, she said, instead of being part of the problem. If they insist on leaving, they should in one way or another pay back Filipino taxpayers who subsidized their education. And pay back big time.
If they do not do this, she joked, she would haunt them, even from the dead.
The professor's words are specific. She does not refer to Filipinos who, unarmed with any professional expertise, choose to leave their families behind and work blue-collar jobs abroad. Instead, Monsod directs her admonition (and threat) to those with college degrees, presumably with a chosen field of specialization.
But the call is also broad. It can be taken to refer to graduates of other schools, even if their education was paid for by their own parents or by other scholarships, not necessarily from the state.
It's a tall order.
I, for instance, who choose to stay, do not relish my decision every minute of the day. Maybe, if I were under different circumstances – if I did not become a mom at a young age, or if I did not love my job – I would have left, too. Being in the print media has its many rewards, but "financial" is not one of them. Without the comfort of of a car, a spacious home and a fat paycheck, one becomes exposed to the everyday things that make life in Manila a truly challenging – sometimes harrowing – experience.
I admit that in particularly low moments, I flirt with the idea of leaving everything behind and starting over in a foreign country. The thought of a place where the level of financial comfort you can attain is commensurate to the amount of hard work you are willing to put in – and oh, am I willing! -- can seem so alluringly simple.
In the Philippines, things aren't quite as simple or straightforward. There is a host of other factors that determines one's success – narrowly defined by most people as the amount of money one makes. Connections play a big part in landing a fresh graduate a promising job with a stable organization. As one moves up the ladder, one will find that political correctness is another key success factor. Behaving in a way that is expected of you makes you more likely to be successful than if you had to fumble your way around or express your individuality.
It follows that once somebody becomes successful (under this narrow definition), he or she will not anymore see the need to go abroad and try to make it there. Why work several jobs and be nobody in a foreign land, when one already lives a comfortable life in the Philippines?
For the rest of us, though, staying here DESPITE the hardships can appear romantic and noble. Indeed, doing our bit for the country does offer a satisfaction that can't be expressed in pesos and centavos.
**
Staying here, however, does not entitle us to any moral superiority over those who chose to go away, and stay away. They – from wherever they obtained their college degrees -- have their reasons. Nobody is in a position to say these Filipinos love their country less.
For some, family togetherness is a driving force. These are the ones whose relatives (or whose spouses' relatives) have already established residence in other countries. And then there are those whose priority is to raise their children in the best environment possible.
There are those who believe that for them to be able to share themselves effectively with others, they should first work on being rock-solid, financially. Only after they have achieved a certain level of success – however it is defined – can they be in a position to pay back, and with gusto.
Tragically, for some, it's desperation.
I have a friend – yes, she's from UP, and an honor student, no less – who left the country three years ago after feeling that she had hit the proverbial glass ceiling in one of the top business process outsourcing companies here. My friend was not exactly struggling to make ends meet: she was driving her own car, and because she was still single at that time, she took over the family's expenses after her father's death and was even helping put her younger brother through medical school. Still, she felt there was no room for upward mobility anymore. She flew to Canada on a mere tourist visa, and the rest is history.
This year, she came back to Manila for a vacation with her Canadian husband. In three years, she has acquired immigrant status and is now working for the government, at a community library. She and her husband say their next project is a baby. I am sure that baby's first words won't be in Tagalog.
My friend was happy to see her family and friends again. But toward the last days of her
vacation, I sensed that she could not wait to go back to her life in Canada. It was her home now. Remember the “walang ganyan sa States” advertisement from a few years back? My friend said, that after again driving on the streets of Manila and seeing the chaos that once formed part of her day-to-day life, she had to bite her tongue to avoid uttering something akin to the phrase.
My friend has decided to live in Canada for good.
What I've heard, not only from her but from all the others who have had a taste of what it is like to live in another country, is that it is difficult to revert to the dirty, crazy, erratic, disorderly way things look and feel around here. And what is so wrong about wanting to improve your life?
**
Mrs. Monsod's lecture has received mixed reactions from Filipinos around the world. Some are defensive of their choice to stay away. Some blame the government for practically driving them out of the Philippines with the lack of rewarding jobs and the endemic corruption in the system. Some feel guilty, in varying degrees, even as they think they would like to return and pay back at some time in the future. Some simply don't care anymore. This country has let them down and that it's unworthy of making a few sacrifices for.
But being born in a country, is similar to being born to a set of parents. You did not choose them, and you would have elected to be born into other families, but you love them nonetheless, warts and all. And so you put up with them, believing they are the only ones you've got and hoping that both of you stay around long enough to see a few significant changes.
And what of romance and nobility? At some point, we are bound to get disillusioned. Some of us venture into the world as idealists but emerge as realists. This is not necessarily bad; in fact, it's a good thing. We should see the world for what it really is. What counts is that even as the romance fizzles out, there remains enough faith to stick it out, not in spite of the hardships, but because of hope.
We can't blame or impose our will on the others who have already decided, but we can make this place a little more attractive for the next batch of decision makers. Then staying here won't be too much of a sacrifice but a natural, logical choice.
adellechua@gmail.com
**
Reader's comments
The economic, social and political conditions in the Philippines continue to deteriorate since the Marcos regime. I listen to DZRH by streaming on the web and it amazes me to no end Filipino’s the attitude of the government (officials) regarding conditions around them. There is this radio host who takes in calls from his listeners about the problems that the government should solve but never done for so obvious reason: corruption. A young, idealistic man called in about his take on the horrendous traffic problem in Edsa and all points in Manila. He said the government official casually responded by saying that he got his letter but he’s busy with more pressing problems in the department. Is not the traffic situation pressing enough since it affects the lives of thousands of people 24/7? The problem of colurum vehicles is not being addressed, the authorities see them every day plying the roads, but the law is not being enforced. Why? I’m sure you know the answer. Politicians are the Lord of the people, not the servants of the people who put them in congress. Then there is this patronage system in the economy that talented graduates who have no connection in industry or government don’t get the break they need to obtain gainful employment. And the litany of corrupt practices in all segment of society continues to plague our nation that denies equal employment opportunity for majority of ordinary Filipinos. This desperate condition triggers the exodus of Filipinos to seek employment elsewhere even in dangerous places abroad seem a better idea. What have they got to lose when they’re broke at home?
The quality of public education in the Philippines has come to its lowest point that graduates have difficulty in reading, writing and arithmetic. The competence of teachers in all levels is questionable. There is no substitute for good writing and oral communication skills. Yes, our medium of instruction in the Philippines is English, and we pride ourselves of this, but we fall short when it comes to demonstration of this skill. Many Filipinos may have the skill sets for a specific job (accounting, nursing, medicine) but what employers are looking, aside from professional skill sets, are employees with good communication skills. Speaking the language is more difficult when actually writing it. Many Filipinos have been passed over for promotions for this very reason and they accuse the employer of “discrimination” not realizing the importance of good oral and written skills. But most Filipinos, when they arrive (i.e. in the U.S.) do not pursue education to improve themselves and their main concern is work and work so that they can send money to their families in the Philippines. Philippine society is not a reading society that majority of us don’t have the passion, or the habit of reading good books. Today, a basic BS degree is not enough anymore. A professional person have to pursue graduate studies to stabilize employment, get promotions, and those with specialized certifications have to continue taking continuing education points (80 points every 3 years) to maintain the certification. A BS degree today is dime a dozen in the workplace. There is stiff competition for promotions.
A major problem of Filipino expatriates in the US is loneliness. Most Filipinos cope with this condition by congregating among themselves to fill the void of homesickness. However, they miss the opportunity to see and experience the rich cultural experience of their host country by separating themselves from the mainstream society. Their perception of America is based on the garbage they see and hear on television and Hollywood which is not a true reflection of American attitudes and mores. Filipinos say to us, “You have become Americanize,” which is pejorative because they see Americans as immoral and loose. This is not true because there are many moral and upstanding Americans who stand for righteousness and justice. Who are we to judge them when we have nothing to boast about the accomplishment of Filipinos compared to what Americans have accomplished in medicine, science and engineering, space, economics, etc. since the founding of the Republic?
What I’m saying here is the exodus of Filipinos to all points in the glove will not stop unless the economic, political and social conditions in the Philippines change. I’m pessimistic, knowing Filipino mentality that is not going to happen no matter what our elite politicians promise the people they would do. The Filipinos should take personal responsibility to change their ways if they want to improve the social, economic and political landscape to stop the tide of Filipinos leaving motherland. However, with the kind of mindset and culture that we have, I see no hope of that happening. This is a challenge to all.
I’m sure I’m making enemies of a lot of people because of this scathing commentary but am I telling a lie or the truth is hard to swallow? Let’s be honest because the truth will set us all free.
V/r,
Nomer Obnamia
David and Mark
published 1 Nov 2010, MST
Despite planning for months to see John Mayer when he came to town on October 1, I decided against doing so. It was a busy time and my son Josh had all the Mayer albums in his iPod anyway. Still, I felt bad. I do not like that many artists and the ones that I like rarely come by and do a show.
So when fellow Standard columnist Jenny Ortuoste asked me if I was free on the evening of October 23, and whether I would like to go see David Foster and Friends at the Araneta Coliseum with her, I said I was game. Not being a basketball fan—and certainly not getting caught up with the my-school-rules-your-school-sucks drama – I had never been inside the Big Dome. No kidding. I also knew that Charice Pempengco was going to be one of the “friends”, and I thought it would be nice to see the girl—who more than compensates for her height—perform live.
Of course, too, I’d always liked the theme from St. Elmo’s Fire.
Jenny’s free tickets put us among the well-heeled section of the audience. I had a kick observing several prominent show business and political personalities sashaying into the patrons section. The viewers were mostly my age or older. I figured the younger crowd would not be able to relate to the music.
Foster is known for numerous compositions that have become hits over time (he is sometimes referred to as The Hitman). He has collaborated with several artists and has acted as a miner of talent, discovering promising artists—Celine Dion, Josh Groban and Michael Bublé, to name a few—and launching their careers.
In between performances, Foster said that he had never played before a more vigorous audience. All those he called on to sing sang really well—even those who weren’t professional artists like Pilita Corrales, Randy Santiago and Arnel Pineda. Corrales sang Dahil Sa Iyo from her seat and Foster was just awed by her voice even though he most likely did not understand a single word of it. Santiago and Pineda, on the other hand, performed their 30-second bits onstage.
Now the friends. Natalie Cole was elegant and wore two smashing dresses. I was sure she was amused to see a dome-ful of people singing “Miss You Like Crazy” with such emotion. Peter Cetera could not quite believe it that the audience knew by heart every word of “Glory of Love”.
And then imagine Groban in a boy band and you get the Canadian Tenors. There was Ruben Studdard, an American Idol contestant who, aside from his beautiful voice, had the gift of creating song on demand. Three members of the audience were picked randomly to utter a phrase— and every time, Studdard was able to make a song, not just lyrics, out of the phrases.
Finally, there was Charice in a hot-pink short dress, her hair in curls as big as her voice. The audience was biased for one of their own, of course, or it may be that Charice was just so good, her voice rich and powerful as she belted out familiar tunes. The girl received several standing ovations, and I must say—even though I believe that good music is not just about the high notes —she had a gift and knew how to use it. She is the latest addition to Foster’s “wards.” I stood up, too, applauding, proud more than anything else, and hoping that the girl would not squander—or get too heady with—her early success.
That evening, I realized “preference” is not the same as “appreciation”. One does not have to be a fan of a person’s kind of music in order to appreciate that artist’s skill and passion. I personally would not list those songs as my favorites, but I knew why they clicked. They touched hearts. They stuck. They became the soundtrack of people’s lives, or at least some of the episodes in people’s lives. They were perhaps what made the elderly couple in front of me snuggle up to each other like it was their first date.
Outside, after the show, it was mayhem. Viewers needed to deposit their umbrellas and cameras to a booth just outside the main door, but the organizers tragically—and almost fantastically—failed to put some semblance of order so that retrieving these items would be easy. Alas, the chaos that ensued after the show threatened to spoil that warm fuzzy feeling one gets after a good show. I say threatened, but not quite. It was a good evening, and I was glad to spend it with a friend.
***
I think the alleged portrayal of Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg as a villain in the movie The Social Network was just part of the promotional campaign for the movie. I saw it over the weekend and thought the character of Zuckerberg was not as evil as I had expected.
Then again, you would have to stop rating The Social Network depending on how close or how far it is to the truth (which we may never really know) in order to enjoy it.
If you want the real deal with Zuckerberg, then perhaps the article Letters from Palo Alto: The Face of Facebook written by Filipino-American journalist Jose Antonio Vargas for The New Yorker (www.newyorker.com) would be of more help.
Vargas starts by talking about Zuckerberg’s own Facebook account, the number of his “friends” (879), the kind of photos he posts (a barbecue at his backyard), and eventually the status message that his med-student girlfriend was moving in. He describes the 26-year-old’s standard attire: a gray t-shirt, blue jeans and a pair of sneakers. The co-founder of Facebook, hailed by the magazine Vanity Fair as “our new Caesar” may be deemed an “over-sharer in the age of over-sharing,” Vargas says. “But that’s kind of the point. Zuckerberg’s business model depends on our shifting notions of privacy, revelation, and sheer self-display.”
The movie, of course, portrays a scheming, socially awkward college student who wanted to resurrect his reputation after putting up facemash.com, a site where Harvard students decided who between two girls was hotter. (Zuckerberg is shown to have done this after a bitter break-up with a girl and after ranting against her in his blog). He is also conscious of his being a geek and of his inability to penetrate Harvard’s elite social circles.
After the Facemash scandal, he is approached by Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss to help develop The Harvard Connection, a networking Web site exclusive to Harvard students. At first, Zuckerberg agrees to help the affluent, well-connected twins. But he gradually becomes scarce, during which he talks to his friend Eduardo Saverin and encourages him to join him in putting up a by-invitation social networking site which they would call The Facebook. (Zuckerberg has always been a little jealous of his friend’s invitation to another elite organization.) Saverin agrees, forks out $1,000 and appoints himself business manager of the venture. The Facebook becomes live, is an instant hit, gets the boys groupies, and eventually expands to several universities in the US and in Europe, with the help of Napster founder Sean Parker (who advises them to drop the “The” in favor of the simpler, cleaner “Facebook”) and several other investors.
Alas, Saverin finds himself eased out with the arrival of Parker. Saverin, who has invested another $18,000 but froze the account for feeling left out, sues his friend and eventually gets a settlement.
This is where Zuckerberg’s apparent redemption comes in. He’s not that bad a friend, after all. He gets back at Parker for Saverin’s corporate ambush by tipping off police about a party where Parker takes drugs. Parker is also eased out and Facebook goes on its merry way.
Vargas, in his New Yorker piece, says Zuckerberg insists that the ideas behind The Harvard Connection and Facebook are totally different, the former being more like a dating site. But Vargas also quotes Cameron Winklevoss who maintains that Zuckerberg “stole the moment, he stole the idea, and he stole the execution.” There was reportedly a $65-million settlement with the twins but they are now asking for more given Facebook’s value.
The movie wraps up well; it is a “classic story of friendship, loyalty, betrayal, and jealousy,” Vargas quotes writer Aaron Sorkin. Sorkin adds that the movie was not meant to be an attack on the Facebook founder. There is even a scene where Zuckerberg attempts to add, in Facebook parlance, the girl who broke up with him and constantly refreshes his page to see if she’s accepted him yet. Apparently, after everything that’s happened, he’s still pining for her.
In real life, though, anything goes and anything can happen. Today Facebook is a household name with half a billion users around the world. Zuckerberg is reportedly so rich that he has donated $100 million to public schools in Newark, New Jersey – a kind of payback for the college dropout who’s now the world’s youngest billionaire. Indeed, much has been said about his character, but the real Facebook story tells us that youth is neither an excuse for not trying nor a barrier to exploring all possibilities we dare imagine.
adellechua@gmail.com
Despite planning for months to see John Mayer when he came to town on October 1, I decided against doing so. It was a busy time and my son Josh had all the Mayer albums in his iPod anyway. Still, I felt bad. I do not like that many artists and the ones that I like rarely come by and do a show.
So when fellow Standard columnist Jenny Ortuoste asked me if I was free on the evening of October 23, and whether I would like to go see David Foster and Friends at the Araneta Coliseum with her, I said I was game. Not being a basketball fan—and certainly not getting caught up with the my-school-rules-your-school-sucks drama – I had never been inside the Big Dome. No kidding. I also knew that Charice Pempengco was going to be one of the “friends”, and I thought it would be nice to see the girl—who more than compensates for her height—perform live.
Of course, too, I’d always liked the theme from St. Elmo’s Fire.
Jenny’s free tickets put us among the well-heeled section of the audience. I had a kick observing several prominent show business and political personalities sashaying into the patrons section. The viewers were mostly my age or older. I figured the younger crowd would not be able to relate to the music.
Foster is known for numerous compositions that have become hits over time (he is sometimes referred to as The Hitman). He has collaborated with several artists and has acted as a miner of talent, discovering promising artists—Celine Dion, Josh Groban and Michael Bublé, to name a few—and launching their careers.
In between performances, Foster said that he had never played before a more vigorous audience. All those he called on to sing sang really well—even those who weren’t professional artists like Pilita Corrales, Randy Santiago and Arnel Pineda. Corrales sang Dahil Sa Iyo from her seat and Foster was just awed by her voice even though he most likely did not understand a single word of it. Santiago and Pineda, on the other hand, performed their 30-second bits onstage.
Now the friends. Natalie Cole was elegant and wore two smashing dresses. I was sure she was amused to see a dome-ful of people singing “Miss You Like Crazy” with such emotion. Peter Cetera could not quite believe it that the audience knew by heart every word of “Glory of Love”.
And then imagine Groban in a boy band and you get the Canadian Tenors. There was Ruben Studdard, an American Idol contestant who, aside from his beautiful voice, had the gift of creating song on demand. Three members of the audience were picked randomly to utter a phrase— and every time, Studdard was able to make a song, not just lyrics, out of the phrases.
Finally, there was Charice in a hot-pink short dress, her hair in curls as big as her voice. The audience was biased for one of their own, of course, or it may be that Charice was just so good, her voice rich and powerful as she belted out familiar tunes. The girl received several standing ovations, and I must say—even though I believe that good music is not just about the high notes —she had a gift and knew how to use it. She is the latest addition to Foster’s “wards.” I stood up, too, applauding, proud more than anything else, and hoping that the girl would not squander—or get too heady with—her early success.
That evening, I realized “preference” is not the same as “appreciation”. One does not have to be a fan of a person’s kind of music in order to appreciate that artist’s skill and passion. I personally would not list those songs as my favorites, but I knew why they clicked. They touched hearts. They stuck. They became the soundtrack of people’s lives, or at least some of the episodes in people’s lives. They were perhaps what made the elderly couple in front of me snuggle up to each other like it was their first date.
Outside, after the show, it was mayhem. Viewers needed to deposit their umbrellas and cameras to a booth just outside the main door, but the organizers tragically—and almost fantastically—failed to put some semblance of order so that retrieving these items would be easy. Alas, the chaos that ensued after the show threatened to spoil that warm fuzzy feeling one gets after a good show. I say threatened, but not quite. It was a good evening, and I was glad to spend it with a friend.
***
I think the alleged portrayal of Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg as a villain in the movie The Social Network was just part of the promotional campaign for the movie. I saw it over the weekend and thought the character of Zuckerberg was not as evil as I had expected.
Then again, you would have to stop rating The Social Network depending on how close or how far it is to the truth (which we may never really know) in order to enjoy it.
If you want the real deal with Zuckerberg, then perhaps the article Letters from Palo Alto: The Face of Facebook written by Filipino-American journalist Jose Antonio Vargas for The New Yorker (www.newyorker.com) would be of more help.
Vargas starts by talking about Zuckerberg’s own Facebook account, the number of his “friends” (879), the kind of photos he posts (a barbecue at his backyard), and eventually the status message that his med-student girlfriend was moving in. He describes the 26-year-old’s standard attire: a gray t-shirt, blue jeans and a pair of sneakers. The co-founder of Facebook, hailed by the magazine Vanity Fair as “our new Caesar” may be deemed an “over-sharer in the age of over-sharing,” Vargas says. “But that’s kind of the point. Zuckerberg’s business model depends on our shifting notions of privacy, revelation, and sheer self-display.”
The movie, of course, portrays a scheming, socially awkward college student who wanted to resurrect his reputation after putting up facemash.com, a site where Harvard students decided who between two girls was hotter. (Zuckerberg is shown to have done this after a bitter break-up with a girl and after ranting against her in his blog). He is also conscious of his being a geek and of his inability to penetrate Harvard’s elite social circles.
After the Facemash scandal, he is approached by Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss to help develop The Harvard Connection, a networking Web site exclusive to Harvard students. At first, Zuckerberg agrees to help the affluent, well-connected twins. But he gradually becomes scarce, during which he talks to his friend Eduardo Saverin and encourages him to join him in putting up a by-invitation social networking site which they would call The Facebook. (Zuckerberg has always been a little jealous of his friend’s invitation to another elite organization.) Saverin agrees, forks out $1,000 and appoints himself business manager of the venture. The Facebook becomes live, is an instant hit, gets the boys groupies, and eventually expands to several universities in the US and in Europe, with the help of Napster founder Sean Parker (who advises them to drop the “The” in favor of the simpler, cleaner “Facebook”) and several other investors.
Alas, Saverin finds himself eased out with the arrival of Parker. Saverin, who has invested another $18,000 but froze the account for feeling left out, sues his friend and eventually gets a settlement.
This is where Zuckerberg’s apparent redemption comes in. He’s not that bad a friend, after all. He gets back at Parker for Saverin’s corporate ambush by tipping off police about a party where Parker takes drugs. Parker is also eased out and Facebook goes on its merry way.
Vargas, in his New Yorker piece, says Zuckerberg insists that the ideas behind The Harvard Connection and Facebook are totally different, the former being more like a dating site. But Vargas also quotes Cameron Winklevoss who maintains that Zuckerberg “stole the moment, he stole the idea, and he stole the execution.” There was reportedly a $65-million settlement with the twins but they are now asking for more given Facebook’s value.
The movie wraps up well; it is a “classic story of friendship, loyalty, betrayal, and jealousy,” Vargas quotes writer Aaron Sorkin. Sorkin adds that the movie was not meant to be an attack on the Facebook founder. There is even a scene where Zuckerberg attempts to add, in Facebook parlance, the girl who broke up with him and constantly refreshes his page to see if she’s accepted him yet. Apparently, after everything that’s happened, he’s still pining for her.
In real life, though, anything goes and anything can happen. Today Facebook is a household name with half a billion users around the world. Zuckerberg is reportedly so rich that he has donated $100 million to public schools in Newark, New Jersey – a kind of payback for the college dropout who’s now the world’s youngest billionaire. Indeed, much has been said about his character, but the real Facebook story tells us that youth is neither an excuse for not trying nor a barrier to exploring all possibilities we dare imagine.
adellechua@gmail.com
Child's (power) play
MST column published 25 Oct 2010
Popular culture has given us the more lasting portrayals of the “typical” bully—usually a boy, big and burly, from whom other kids generally stay away for fear of being harmed, taunted, or forced into submission into doing things against their will.
That is not always the case. Fifth-grader Bryan, for instance, is small and roundish, with thick eyeglasses that partially hide an otherwise adorable face. He is president of his class. But recently the class treasurer, Trish, revealed that she had more than once given money to Bryan from the class fund. Bryan had somehow found out who this girl’s crush was, and she was afraid that if she did not give him the money, he would reveal her secret to everyone in class.
President Bryan also does not have to line up at the canteen during recess. He makes sure that another boy, Tom, performs that errand for him—and spends his own money besides. If Tom is lucky, Bryan dismissively mumbles a “thank you.” On bad days, Bryan discards the food, says he does not like it, and makes Tom line up again to buy another kind of snack. Tom runs out of money, and of time to eat his own food if he can manage to get a little for himself.
(Bryan, Trish and Tom are not the kids’ real names).
Ma. Elena Carballo, deputy executive director of the Council for the Welfare of Children, a government office supervised by the Department of Social Welfare and Development, says almost all bullying cases have their roots in the home. She talks about girl in kindergarten kicking college-age students when she does not get her way. “It is weird because here you have bigger children being intimidated by this little girl.” School authorities eventually talked to the girl’s guardian, the grandmother—and soon realized where the problem stemmed. “The grandmother is also a bully,” says Caraballo, “and the child sees what the adult does to the maids and thinks this is all right. When we talked to the grandmother, she even got angry.”
In another case, two brothers aged 12 and nine beat their own five-year-old sister—to death—just because she did not follow what they were asking her to do. The children later said what they did to their sister was what their father did to their mother when she did not do as she was told.
Bullying is essentially power play. A bully believes he or she can make peers do as he wishes, or that he can make their lives miserable if they refuse. Not that anybody refuses, it seems, because bullies only bother those whom they think they can tackle.
Other forms of bullying include calling names, extorting money and other “favors”, grabbing of food and school allowance, threatening to harm with a weapon, and many others. Information technology has also made cyber-bullying possible, where the perpetrator uses social networking sites to make his target “feel bad.”
But bickering and clashing with peers are common among children, that’s why some parents or school authorities are reluctant to step in. The bullying incidents can often hide behind petty quarrels—“away bata”—and surviving them is sometimes seen as a rite of passage.
A lot has been said about protecting our children from bullies. Most likely, a child who feels confident and secure at home will be better able to resist whatever coercive power bullies may exert over him or her. Children are also taught that they should tell parents or school authorities about instances of bullying instead of bearing the burden by themselves.
The effects vary in degree and manifestation. Some bullying targets lose interest in school altogether, suffer from poor appetite, upset stomachs (especially in the morning when one has to get ready for school). They have limited social interaction, and become secretive and withdrawn. In worst cases, these bullying targets commit suicide. Most of the time, they just carry these scars all the way to adulthood.
A middle-aged woman, for instance, who now works in a non-government organization championing children’s rights, cannot forget the name of her tormentor—when they were in kindergarten! “I dreaded going to school. I would invent all kinds of sicknesses so that I would not have to see him,” she says.
“I wonder what became of him,” I ask. “Have you tried Googling him, since you remember his name so well?” We laugh.
But the concern is legitimate. How do bullies turn out, later on in life? Do they outgrow their behavior? Is the bullying tendency tamed or does it show itself in other ways?
* * *
Sometimes parents are surprised when they are told that their children are bullies in school. “But he is so quiet and obedient at home!” they insist. Carballo says it is likely that children feel so repressed and stifled in their own homes—they could not challenge the authority—that it in school where they act out their frustration at being powerless.
Carballo says that theoretically, children with brothers and sisters are less likely to be bullies than only children. This is self-explanatory. Since it all begins in the home, a child learns to socialize, compromise and cooperate with siblings. On the other hand, only children are more pampered and more used to getting attention and preferential treatment from the adults around him or her. They end up demanding the same special treatment outside the home. Of course, all these are in the realm of tendencies, so the guidance of parents, teachers, other school authorities are crucial. “After all, it takes a tribe to raise a child,” adds Carballo.
She adds that the adults must talk to the bully at the earliest possible instance to tell him that what he has been doing is unacceptable. “The problem is that these kids are not aware that their aggressive behavior is wrong, so that has to be corrected.” Carballo also says that while violence is not an option in dealing with bullies, the way to talk to them is to be kind but firm. “These kids won’t take you seriously if they feel they can sway you or reason with you.”
More importantly, the same approach has to be applied by everybody around the child. If the teachers and guidance counselors talk to the child about his acts, and then the child’s parents counter this approach, the results can be more damaging. The child will be confused and this may lead to worsened behavior.
It is possible that the child will grow up and see the error of his ways, but without external support, he will likely go on thinking he has the power over others and exploit this power to the hilt. The school bully will then grow up to be the office bully, or the household bully, or the fellow you just don’t want to have around.
Imagine the psychological toll and cycle of violence—insidious or not—that this would perpetuate.
Popular culture has given us the more lasting portrayals of the “typical” bully—usually a boy, big and burly, from whom other kids generally stay away for fear of being harmed, taunted, or forced into submission into doing things against their will.
That is not always the case. Fifth-grader Bryan, for instance, is small and roundish, with thick eyeglasses that partially hide an otherwise adorable face. He is president of his class. But recently the class treasurer, Trish, revealed that she had more than once given money to Bryan from the class fund. Bryan had somehow found out who this girl’s crush was, and she was afraid that if she did not give him the money, he would reveal her secret to everyone in class.
President Bryan also does not have to line up at the canteen during recess. He makes sure that another boy, Tom, performs that errand for him—and spends his own money besides. If Tom is lucky, Bryan dismissively mumbles a “thank you.” On bad days, Bryan discards the food, says he does not like it, and makes Tom line up again to buy another kind of snack. Tom runs out of money, and of time to eat his own food if he can manage to get a little for himself.
(Bryan, Trish and Tom are not the kids’ real names).
Ma. Elena Carballo, deputy executive director of the Council for the Welfare of Children, a government office supervised by the Department of Social Welfare and Development, says almost all bullying cases have their roots in the home. She talks about girl in kindergarten kicking college-age students when she does not get her way. “It is weird because here you have bigger children being intimidated by this little girl.” School authorities eventually talked to the girl’s guardian, the grandmother—and soon realized where the problem stemmed. “The grandmother is also a bully,” says Caraballo, “and the child sees what the adult does to the maids and thinks this is all right. When we talked to the grandmother, she even got angry.”
In another case, two brothers aged 12 and nine beat their own five-year-old sister—to death—just because she did not follow what they were asking her to do. The children later said what they did to their sister was what their father did to their mother when she did not do as she was told.
Bullying is essentially power play. A bully believes he or she can make peers do as he wishes, or that he can make their lives miserable if they refuse. Not that anybody refuses, it seems, because bullies only bother those whom they think they can tackle.
Other forms of bullying include calling names, extorting money and other “favors”, grabbing of food and school allowance, threatening to harm with a weapon, and many others. Information technology has also made cyber-bullying possible, where the perpetrator uses social networking sites to make his target “feel bad.”
But bickering and clashing with peers are common among children, that’s why some parents or school authorities are reluctant to step in. The bullying incidents can often hide behind petty quarrels—“away bata”—and surviving them is sometimes seen as a rite of passage.
A lot has been said about protecting our children from bullies. Most likely, a child who feels confident and secure at home will be better able to resist whatever coercive power bullies may exert over him or her. Children are also taught that they should tell parents or school authorities about instances of bullying instead of bearing the burden by themselves.
The effects vary in degree and manifestation. Some bullying targets lose interest in school altogether, suffer from poor appetite, upset stomachs (especially in the morning when one has to get ready for school). They have limited social interaction, and become secretive and withdrawn. In worst cases, these bullying targets commit suicide. Most of the time, they just carry these scars all the way to adulthood.
A middle-aged woman, for instance, who now works in a non-government organization championing children’s rights, cannot forget the name of her tormentor—when they were in kindergarten! “I dreaded going to school. I would invent all kinds of sicknesses so that I would not have to see him,” she says.
“I wonder what became of him,” I ask. “Have you tried Googling him, since you remember his name so well?” We laugh.
But the concern is legitimate. How do bullies turn out, later on in life? Do they outgrow their behavior? Is the bullying tendency tamed or does it show itself in other ways?
* * *
Sometimes parents are surprised when they are told that their children are bullies in school. “But he is so quiet and obedient at home!” they insist. Carballo says it is likely that children feel so repressed and stifled in their own homes—they could not challenge the authority—that it in school where they act out their frustration at being powerless.
Carballo says that theoretically, children with brothers and sisters are less likely to be bullies than only children. This is self-explanatory. Since it all begins in the home, a child learns to socialize, compromise and cooperate with siblings. On the other hand, only children are more pampered and more used to getting attention and preferential treatment from the adults around him or her. They end up demanding the same special treatment outside the home. Of course, all these are in the realm of tendencies, so the guidance of parents, teachers, other school authorities are crucial. “After all, it takes a tribe to raise a child,” adds Carballo.
She adds that the adults must talk to the bully at the earliest possible instance to tell him that what he has been doing is unacceptable. “The problem is that these kids are not aware that their aggressive behavior is wrong, so that has to be corrected.” Carballo also says that while violence is not an option in dealing with bullies, the way to talk to them is to be kind but firm. “These kids won’t take you seriously if they feel they can sway you or reason with you.”
More importantly, the same approach has to be applied by everybody around the child. If the teachers and guidance counselors talk to the child about his acts, and then the child’s parents counter this approach, the results can be more damaging. The child will be confused and this may lead to worsened behavior.
It is possible that the child will grow up and see the error of his ways, but without external support, he will likely go on thinking he has the power over others and exploit this power to the hilt. The school bully will then grow up to be the office bully, or the household bully, or the fellow you just don’t want to have around.
Imagine the psychological toll and cycle of violence—insidious or not—that this would perpetuate.
Tough love (2)
my MST column published 18 Oct 2010
Sixty-four percent of female and 66 percent of male public school students say they have experienced being ridiculed or teased in school—whether by their peers or by their teachers and other school authorities.
Fifty-eight percent of girls and 61 percent of boys have been shouted or cursed at or used harsh language on.
Twenty-nine percent of girls and 40 percent of boys have been threatened with physical violence.
Forty-six percent of girls and 39 percent of boys have been deliberately ignored or not spoken to.
These are just some of the findings of a study conducted by Plan International, Council for the Welfare of Children and the United Nations Children’s Fund.
The report, “Towards a child-friendly education environment: a baseline study on violence against children in public schools,” which came out last year, surveyed 6,931 children aged six to 17 in 173 public elementary and secondary schools. Six rural areas—Mountain Province, Masbate, Northern Samar, Capiz, Camotes Islands in Cebu, and Sultan Kudarat—as well as three urban spots—Manila, Metro Cebu and Metro Davao—were surveyed.
The incidents above make up only some of the physical abuses reported by the children. Other forms of physical violence are: getting pinched, having things thrown (at them), being made to stand in the sun and being locked in an enclosed space.
And then there are incidences of sexual violence committed against these children. Forty percent of the girls and 42 percent of the boys have been spoken to in a sexually offensive manner. Fourteen percent in both groups have been touched inappropriately; 7 percent of girls and 8 percent of boys have been kissed while 2 percent of girls and 3 percent of boys have been forced to have sex.
I do not wish to parrot every single statistic cited in the book. The numbers are there to convince us of the prevalence of the matter. And I think we are convinced that violence in schools is common albeit in varying forms and degrees. Most importantly, it is what we do with these numbers that counts.
* * *
Reacting to the findings, the Department of Education has made a commitment to strengthen its Child-Friendly School Systems program, a project it started years ago.
There is absolutely no justification for any kind of violence in schools. Article VIII, Section 8, of the Code of Ethics for Professional Teachers (1998) makes it unlawful for a teacher to use physical violence to discipline a troublesome student.
The Department of Education Service Manual (2000) also prohibits school officials and teachers from imposing or applying cruel, physically harmful punishment on any pupil, or suspension or expulsion.
Department Order No. 297, Series of 2007 reiterates the provisions of Republic Act No. 7610 (Anti-Child Abuse Law) against maltreatment of children.
Finally, the 2010 Manual of Regulations of Public Schools strictly prohibits corporal punishment, degrading tasks and punishment of a cruel nature. Teachers may be dismissed for violation of the rules. Principals and other school officials also face disciplinary action if they abuse the “parental authority entrusted to them.”
But as the numbers show, these guidelines have done little to discourage the perpetration of acts of violence against children. Very clearly, it is not enough that guidelines be spelled out. There has to be a sustained effort to educate school personnel that there are other ways to manage the behavior of their pupils. Our teachers are likely to listen; after all, they also have the best interests of the children in mind. The problem is just that most of us grew up believing that sparing the rod would really be tantamount to spoiling the child.
* * *
Not many people (children and adults alike) are aware that certain acts are considered acts of violence. We normally think an act is violent if it causes extreme pain and leaves physical marks like wounds or bruises. Anything less than this is deemed acceptable, especially when coming from authority figures who are duty bound to straighten out a child’s rowdy behavior. On the other hand, clashes with peers are also sometimes interpreted as petty quarrels, “away bata” and that kids are best left to deal with these themselves. Bullying as a behavioral pattern has been only a recent issue (I will talk more about this next time).
The limited understanding makes some children believe that they actually deserve the violent act because they are “makulit” or “pasaway”.
The fact is that despite well-worded guidelines by the Education Department, and avowals to fight violence in any form against the youth, nobody can say how well these guidelines are implemented. The passage of the anti-corporal punishment bill (which covers the home and schools and which focuses on positive discipline instead of hauling the offenders to jail immediately) will help, of course, but then again the main issue will be implementation even in the most far-flung schools in the country.
And if kids don’t know they should not be treated that way, chances are, so do their parents. Some of these parents may themselves be subjecting the kids to corporal punishment—again, not out of a sadistic nature but out of a sense of duty and, to some extent, desperation. Still, a supportive family makes a child more resistant to abuse.
There should be a more aggressive information campaign for the prevention of all forms of violence. Those behind the 2009 study emphasize that involvement of children, parents, school authorities, teachers and local government officials is needed. They also recommend the standardization of the documentation and the protocol in addressing reports of violence.
Schools are where our children spend the most time outside of the home. Let’s make sure we protect them, and enable them to protect themselves.
adellechua@gmail.com
Sixty-four percent of female and 66 percent of male public school students say they have experienced being ridiculed or teased in school—whether by their peers or by their teachers and other school authorities.
Fifty-eight percent of girls and 61 percent of boys have been shouted or cursed at or used harsh language on.
Twenty-nine percent of girls and 40 percent of boys have been threatened with physical violence.
Forty-six percent of girls and 39 percent of boys have been deliberately ignored or not spoken to.
These are just some of the findings of a study conducted by Plan International, Council for the Welfare of Children and the United Nations Children’s Fund.
The report, “Towards a child-friendly education environment: a baseline study on violence against children in public schools,” which came out last year, surveyed 6,931 children aged six to 17 in 173 public elementary and secondary schools. Six rural areas—Mountain Province, Masbate, Northern Samar, Capiz, Camotes Islands in Cebu, and Sultan Kudarat—as well as three urban spots—Manila, Metro Cebu and Metro Davao—were surveyed.
The incidents above make up only some of the physical abuses reported by the children. Other forms of physical violence are: getting pinched, having things thrown (at them), being made to stand in the sun and being locked in an enclosed space.
And then there are incidences of sexual violence committed against these children. Forty percent of the girls and 42 percent of the boys have been spoken to in a sexually offensive manner. Fourteen percent in both groups have been touched inappropriately; 7 percent of girls and 8 percent of boys have been kissed while 2 percent of girls and 3 percent of boys have been forced to have sex.
I do not wish to parrot every single statistic cited in the book. The numbers are there to convince us of the prevalence of the matter. And I think we are convinced that violence in schools is common albeit in varying forms and degrees. Most importantly, it is what we do with these numbers that counts.
* * *
Reacting to the findings, the Department of Education has made a commitment to strengthen its Child-Friendly School Systems program, a project it started years ago.
There is absolutely no justification for any kind of violence in schools. Article VIII, Section 8, of the Code of Ethics for Professional Teachers (1998) makes it unlawful for a teacher to use physical violence to discipline a troublesome student.
The Department of Education Service Manual (2000) also prohibits school officials and teachers from imposing or applying cruel, physically harmful punishment on any pupil, or suspension or expulsion.
Department Order No. 297, Series of 2007 reiterates the provisions of Republic Act No. 7610 (Anti-Child Abuse Law) against maltreatment of children.
Finally, the 2010 Manual of Regulations of Public Schools strictly prohibits corporal punishment, degrading tasks and punishment of a cruel nature. Teachers may be dismissed for violation of the rules. Principals and other school officials also face disciplinary action if they abuse the “parental authority entrusted to them.”
But as the numbers show, these guidelines have done little to discourage the perpetration of acts of violence against children. Very clearly, it is not enough that guidelines be spelled out. There has to be a sustained effort to educate school personnel that there are other ways to manage the behavior of their pupils. Our teachers are likely to listen; after all, they also have the best interests of the children in mind. The problem is just that most of us grew up believing that sparing the rod would really be tantamount to spoiling the child.
* * *
Not many people (children and adults alike) are aware that certain acts are considered acts of violence. We normally think an act is violent if it causes extreme pain and leaves physical marks like wounds or bruises. Anything less than this is deemed acceptable, especially when coming from authority figures who are duty bound to straighten out a child’s rowdy behavior. On the other hand, clashes with peers are also sometimes interpreted as petty quarrels, “away bata” and that kids are best left to deal with these themselves. Bullying as a behavioral pattern has been only a recent issue (I will talk more about this next time).
The limited understanding makes some children believe that they actually deserve the violent act because they are “makulit” or “pasaway”.
The fact is that despite well-worded guidelines by the Education Department, and avowals to fight violence in any form against the youth, nobody can say how well these guidelines are implemented. The passage of the anti-corporal punishment bill (which covers the home and schools and which focuses on positive discipline instead of hauling the offenders to jail immediately) will help, of course, but then again the main issue will be implementation even in the most far-flung schools in the country.
And if kids don’t know they should not be treated that way, chances are, so do their parents. Some of these parents may themselves be subjecting the kids to corporal punishment—again, not out of a sadistic nature but out of a sense of duty and, to some extent, desperation. Still, a supportive family makes a child more resistant to abuse.
There should be a more aggressive information campaign for the prevention of all forms of violence. Those behind the 2009 study emphasize that involvement of children, parents, school authorities, teachers and local government officials is needed. They also recommend the standardization of the documentation and the protocol in addressing reports of violence.
Schools are where our children spend the most time outside of the home. Let’s make sure we protect them, and enable them to protect themselves.
adellechua@gmail.com
Tough love (1)
my MST column published 11 October 2010
Melanie Ramos-Llana, project officer for the John J. Carroll Institute on Church and Social Issues (a member-organization of the Child’s Right Network), talks about the day she went to a public school in Quezon City to talk about corporal punishment to administrators, teachers and students alike. The principal eyed her suspiciously and said to her staff: “Hmp! Nandito na naman yang mga children’s rights advocates na yan, mga kalaban natin yan! Dahil sa kanila hindi na natin pwede gawin sa mga bata yung dapat nating gawin para madisiplina sila! (Here are these children’s rights advocates again! They are our enemies. Because of them, we cannot anymore do what we are supposed to do to discipline our children!)”
Minerva Cabiles, senior manager for policy advocacy of Save the Children, another member of the network, says this is precisely the mindset of adults when it comes to dealing with children. We say we do this because we love our children and we want them to turn out well. “Most parents and teachers who physically or verbally harm their children are not evil. They actually believe they are doing the right thing, that they are doing it out of love or duty.”
And indeed, many of us grew up believing that it is okay to use the occasional rod to discipline a wayward child. (Let me be clear, however, that I do not speak of the more extreme cases that result in deaths or debilitation, cases that make it to mass media as grave instances of child abuse). If we ourselves weren’t spanked with a ruler, broom, hanger, slipper or bare hand for being pasaway, made to stand under the sun or in a corner for failing a test or cheating on it, denied lunch or dinner for skipping our vegetables, slapped or had our mouths washed with soap for experimenting with a dirty word, had our short pants pulled down for loitering during class hours, made to squat for fighting with brothers and sisters—then we probably know somebody who was.
Chances are, that somebody eventually turned out to be okay. “We talk to many old people and they say they were spanked, and they in turn spanked their children, and now all their children are professionals,” adds Cabiles. It is as if the punishment were a guarantee that the kids would shape up and grow into mature, responsible adults.
Unfortunately, that is hardly the case. These methods of punishment—spanking, pinching, throwing things, cursing, saying harsh words, humiliating, ignoring—all somehow find a way to the child’s psyche. It perpetuates the cycle of violence. It tells children that violence is all right so long as it is done by parents or authorities and maybe so long as there is no blood, bruise or any injury involved. They acceptable behavior is then passed on to their peers in school, their younger brothers and sisters, and eventually to their own children. It does more harm than good.
What the proposed anti-corporal punishment law seeks to dismantle is the less pronounced, less hysterical but more insidious type of violence—and one that is committed under the guise of love. It transcends physical punishment; it’s a culture of belittlement and humiliation that scars a child’s emotions, damages his psyche and may lead him to feel entitled, much later on in life, to inflict the same harm on others.
Imagine telling a child every day that he is stupid. He may just believe it. The scary thing is that we will never really know the extent of the damage until it one day manifests itself. The pain from the spanking goes away in time, but the emotional consequences linger, sometimes for good.
This phenomenon is not peculiar to the Philippines. Studies have shown that the practice cuts across countries, rich or poor or of whatever dominant religion. In the same way, corporal punishment also cuts across socio-economic classes here. The rich are not less likely to subject their children to spanking or humiliation, Ramos-Llana says, although they may do it in more sophisticated ways and reasons (i.e., failing an examination, not living up to standards). On the other hand, lower income groups who have more basic stressors—too many children, not enough money, lack of a job, inadequate food—have the tendency to inflict more intense physical or verbal harm because of their desperation. Curiously, however, Ramos-Llana and Cabiles say that based on their experience working with diverse communities all over the country, it is the poor parents who are more open to alternatives in managing their children —that is, if they can first learn to manage their anger and frustration first.
Still, parents normally feel that the manner in disciplining their children is their prerogative. Chances are, there will be a perceived intrusion of the state into one’s parenthood style—especially if one acts in good faith, or does not see anything wrong with the age-old practice.
The two children’s rights workers also talk about evolving forms of punishment. For example, since the Department of Education has issued an order prohibiting teachers from administering corporal punishment to their students, some teachers skirt the rule and ask wayward students to slap themselves, or tell another student to hit the erring child. This way, one does not get one’s hands dirty.
Despite the Deped memorandum, the Philippines has yet to pass an anti-corporal punishment law. In the 14th Congress, the bill, authored by then-Rep. Nikki Teodoro, hurdled the House of Representatives. The Senate version did not do as well, set aside perhaps by the sheer number of senators’ other concerns especially as the election season approached.
The bill was introduced this time, for the 15th Congress, by Rep. Susan Yap. The bill explicitly prohibits the corporal punishment of children in all settings including the home. Moreover, it offers programs to help parents, guardians, teachers and other adults discipline their children in positive, non-violent ways. The passage of the bill may just usher in a break from the past and a whole new way of raising the next generation.
The Child’s Rights Network, an umbrella organization that counts 16 groups championing and protecting the rights of the child, banks on the fact that there are many first-term, young lawmakers who will be more able to appreciate the positive alternative it offers. Admittedly the topic is not as headline-grabbing as the latest exchange of accusations in jueteng, for instance. It is often set aside. Also, lawmakers may not want to openly question a system that they may have come from, or that they may actually be perpetuating.
***
A series of activities for Children’s Month will be held beginning today, with the theme Bata, Bata: Anong Mga Batas Pa Ang Magagawa? There will be press conferences, a children’s dialogue with legislators, photo exhibits and focus group discussions. The CRN has teamed up with the Committee on the Welfare of Children of the House of Representatives for these events.
Next week, I will be writing about a study that reveals an alarming rate of violence in our public schools.
adellechua@gmail.com
Melanie Ramos-Llana, project officer for the John J. Carroll Institute on Church and Social Issues (a member-organization of the Child’s Right Network), talks about the day she went to a public school in Quezon City to talk about corporal punishment to administrators, teachers and students alike. The principal eyed her suspiciously and said to her staff: “Hmp! Nandito na naman yang mga children’s rights advocates na yan, mga kalaban natin yan! Dahil sa kanila hindi na natin pwede gawin sa mga bata yung dapat nating gawin para madisiplina sila! (Here are these children’s rights advocates again! They are our enemies. Because of them, we cannot anymore do what we are supposed to do to discipline our children!)”
Minerva Cabiles, senior manager for policy advocacy of Save the Children, another member of the network, says this is precisely the mindset of adults when it comes to dealing with children. We say we do this because we love our children and we want them to turn out well. “Most parents and teachers who physically or verbally harm their children are not evil. They actually believe they are doing the right thing, that they are doing it out of love or duty.”
And indeed, many of us grew up believing that it is okay to use the occasional rod to discipline a wayward child. (Let me be clear, however, that I do not speak of the more extreme cases that result in deaths or debilitation, cases that make it to mass media as grave instances of child abuse). If we ourselves weren’t spanked with a ruler, broom, hanger, slipper or bare hand for being pasaway, made to stand under the sun or in a corner for failing a test or cheating on it, denied lunch or dinner for skipping our vegetables, slapped or had our mouths washed with soap for experimenting with a dirty word, had our short pants pulled down for loitering during class hours, made to squat for fighting with brothers and sisters—then we probably know somebody who was.
Chances are, that somebody eventually turned out to be okay. “We talk to many old people and they say they were spanked, and they in turn spanked their children, and now all their children are professionals,” adds Cabiles. It is as if the punishment were a guarantee that the kids would shape up and grow into mature, responsible adults.
Unfortunately, that is hardly the case. These methods of punishment—spanking, pinching, throwing things, cursing, saying harsh words, humiliating, ignoring—all somehow find a way to the child’s psyche. It perpetuates the cycle of violence. It tells children that violence is all right so long as it is done by parents or authorities and maybe so long as there is no blood, bruise or any injury involved. They acceptable behavior is then passed on to their peers in school, their younger brothers and sisters, and eventually to their own children. It does more harm than good.
What the proposed anti-corporal punishment law seeks to dismantle is the less pronounced, less hysterical but more insidious type of violence—and one that is committed under the guise of love. It transcends physical punishment; it’s a culture of belittlement and humiliation that scars a child’s emotions, damages his psyche and may lead him to feel entitled, much later on in life, to inflict the same harm on others.
Imagine telling a child every day that he is stupid. He may just believe it. The scary thing is that we will never really know the extent of the damage until it one day manifests itself. The pain from the spanking goes away in time, but the emotional consequences linger, sometimes for good.
This phenomenon is not peculiar to the Philippines. Studies have shown that the practice cuts across countries, rich or poor or of whatever dominant religion. In the same way, corporal punishment also cuts across socio-economic classes here. The rich are not less likely to subject their children to spanking or humiliation, Ramos-Llana says, although they may do it in more sophisticated ways and reasons (i.e., failing an examination, not living up to standards). On the other hand, lower income groups who have more basic stressors—too many children, not enough money, lack of a job, inadequate food—have the tendency to inflict more intense physical or verbal harm because of their desperation. Curiously, however, Ramos-Llana and Cabiles say that based on their experience working with diverse communities all over the country, it is the poor parents who are more open to alternatives in managing their children —that is, if they can first learn to manage their anger and frustration first.
Still, parents normally feel that the manner in disciplining their children is their prerogative. Chances are, there will be a perceived intrusion of the state into one’s parenthood style—especially if one acts in good faith, or does not see anything wrong with the age-old practice.
The two children’s rights workers also talk about evolving forms of punishment. For example, since the Department of Education has issued an order prohibiting teachers from administering corporal punishment to their students, some teachers skirt the rule and ask wayward students to slap themselves, or tell another student to hit the erring child. This way, one does not get one’s hands dirty.
Despite the Deped memorandum, the Philippines has yet to pass an anti-corporal punishment law. In the 14th Congress, the bill, authored by then-Rep. Nikki Teodoro, hurdled the House of Representatives. The Senate version did not do as well, set aside perhaps by the sheer number of senators’ other concerns especially as the election season approached.
The bill was introduced this time, for the 15th Congress, by Rep. Susan Yap. The bill explicitly prohibits the corporal punishment of children in all settings including the home. Moreover, it offers programs to help parents, guardians, teachers and other adults discipline their children in positive, non-violent ways. The passage of the bill may just usher in a break from the past and a whole new way of raising the next generation.
The Child’s Rights Network, an umbrella organization that counts 16 groups championing and protecting the rights of the child, banks on the fact that there are many first-term, young lawmakers who will be more able to appreciate the positive alternative it offers. Admittedly the topic is not as headline-grabbing as the latest exchange of accusations in jueteng, for instance. It is often set aside. Also, lawmakers may not want to openly question a system that they may have come from, or that they may actually be perpetuating.
***
A series of activities for Children’s Month will be held beginning today, with the theme Bata, Bata: Anong Mga Batas Pa Ang Magagawa? There will be press conferences, a children’s dialogue with legislators, photo exhibits and focus group discussions. The CRN has teamed up with the Committee on the Welfare of Children of the House of Representatives for these events.
Next week, I will be writing about a study that reveals an alarming rate of violence in our public schools.
adellechua@gmail.com
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
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